Most of the things that men are scared to ask women concern, you guessed right, sex. In particular, men are usually curious about what they would want to do or experiment with in bed in order to gain more satisfaction from their sexual relationship. At times the curiosity is a result of some deep-rooted sexual fantasies but for the most part it is a result of stuff men come across in magazines or videos. Men, you should know by now, are visual beings and when it comes to sex they are attracted to sexual images.
Apart from sex, men are also afraid to ask about some habits of the female species that they consider bizarre. These include some dressing habits as well as the way women communicate (or fail to communicate) with men. Most of these habits may be considered trivial but they, really, are a mystery to men.
Trivial or not, these things have one thing in common: men just cannot bring themselves to ask about them because they fear that doing so will affect their relationship with their woman. For example, there are issues that men will never ask because they are afraid that such questions or requests may be considered demeaning to a woman’s dignity. Men will also avoid making certain requests because they are afraid of being turned down.
Considering that each man is different, the list of issues and questions that men keep to themselves can be as long as the list of men that have ever walked this earth – if not longer.
1. Don’t just lie there, say something
It would really be nice if you said something during sex. Scream if you have to but moaning or just talking is just fine. What matters to us, men, is to know that we are making our woman feel good. Remember that, other than enjoying his own sexual pleasure, a man prides himself in knowing that he is able to sexually satisfy his woman.
We also need to know that we are doing the right things the right way. In this regard, we really appreciate it when you give us some directions. Do not be afraid to tell us to go slower or deeper or that we are rubbing you the wrong way or at the wrong place. Commentaries like these really help us do things right.
More importantly, tell us when you are approaching orgasm as it will enable us to stop holding back and start letting go so we can touch the skies together. For some men, holding themselves so that they do not come before their woman can be very hard work indeed so being signaled to let go can be quite a relief.
2. What’s with the shoes? And the perfumes?
We understand that your shoes have to match or compliment whatever you wear but do you really need all those pairs of shoes? A dozen is more than enough but, no, you want a dozen dozens. Really? How complicated can colour matching be? White goes with black and black goes with everything else – most of the times. But, no, it has to be solid colour for solid colour, shade for shade, stripes for stripes, and polka dot for polka dot. Really?
And then there is the perfume. As if it is not hard enough for us to understand why you need all those pairs of shoes, now, we also have to figure out why you need dozens of perfumes. Do they also go with certain colours? We just do not get it.
But we dare not ask because we know that, logically, it is not possible for anyone to explain that kind of extravagance. And logic is all we, men, understand. So for the sake of keeping the peace we dare not ask because we know exactly what you will say or think: that we are accusing you of being wasteful. And we know that doing so will only get you upset which, as we have come to learn, is never a good idea.
3. Initiate sex, sometimes
You have no idea how much we want you to initiate sex and, by that, we mean doing it in earnest not just hinting at sex. We want you to do as we do – touch, touch some more, caress, kiss and go all the way.
The thing about this is that when you initiate sex, you make us feel wanted and that adds a lot of currency to our self-confidence. It speaks to our insecurity. Feeling wanted by you means that you are still attracted to us, that we are still the one you want after all this time. Of course, we, kind of know that, already, but it helps to be reminded, now and then, how important we are to you.
4. What do you really mean when you say ‘Fine’?
Or ‘okay’, or ‘do whatever you think is right’? Because we have come to notice that you, actually, get angry when we go ahead and do that about which you said ‘fine’ or ‘okay’ or ‘do whatever you think is right’.
What is more confusing to us is that there are times when your ‘fine’ really means ‘fine’ and your ‘okay’ is really ‘okay’. But apparently, in woman-speak some words or phrases have contradictory meanings depending on a woman’s mood, time or place. The challenge for us is to figure out when you are using which ‘fine’ or the rest of your ‘special’ vocabulary. It would, really, help us a lot if you took time to teach us the difference.
Unfortunately, we are unable to ask for an explanation because the only time we are reminded about it is when you get upset with us for doing that which you had said was ‘fine’. And that is not a good time to ask you anything.
5. Be sexy – for us
Some men would be very pleased if their woman did a strip tease for them with pole and all. Others would prefer a catwalk or a lap dance. The thing is that all men feel great when their woman does something sexy for them – puts on a sexy dress at home, or indeed, lingerie.
While most women would find no issue with putting on lingerie or wearing some sexy dress just for their man, some women may find doing a strip tease demeaning. That is why we never ask – we do not want you to feel demeaned.
6. We are afraid to ask you to lose weight
It is not like we want you to look like you are 25, again, but it is just that we have noticed that as your belly continues to bulge, you have stopped asking us whether you look fat or not. Not that we were going to be truthful if you asked but, at least, we would know that it bothers you, too.
Now, we understand and appreciate the fact that a woman’s day is always full as you try to be the best you can be for your husband, the children and even your office. We know that you are, practically, a hamster on the wheel, always doing something and finding something to do the very moment you get some free time. As such, we know how hard it can be for you to spare an hour of your time to go to the gym a couple of times a week.
But how about just changing a few things about the stuff you eat? We see several mums at our work place who have actually tried and succeeded with weight plans that come with little or no exercises at all. And they are very busy mums, too. All we are saying is that it can be done without you having to set aside extra time apart from just changing a few items on your shopping list.
But we dare not ask because you will say that we are accusing you of being fat and ugly. That is not true, and you know it. So we will keep our mouth shut and keep the peace.
7. Special bedroom services
Once in a while, for no reason at all, we would like for you to give us a quickie. Like, just come over, lock the doors, grab the remote control, pull up your dress, straddle us, unzip our trousers, take us inside you and proceed to do us until we come. Then, plant one, big kiss on our mouth, get off and proceed to the kitchen to continue with your mopping.
And sometimes, when you are having your periods, we would like to see you do whatever it takes to make us come. Now, we know that may sound selfish especially when you are having those cramps and all. But our penis does not know that.
And how about anal sex? We would like to see how that feels. It may even be that, before we met you, we used to be with someone with whom we used to enjoy that kind of sex. Of course, this is a touchy issue and there are guys who are actually appalled by it. But, truth be told, most guys have considered it in their minds.
It is only that we do not know how you are going to react if we ask. On the other hand, we also hope that, somewhere down the line, you will be the one who will ask for it. So in order to keep the hope alive, we keep quiet. And wait.
8. Why do you buy food you will not eat?
They are healthy foods, we understand, but including a bag of oranges, a dozen apples, a dozen tangerines and two dozens of bananas on the groceries is not a very good idea for a household of two people. More so when the batch that you bought last month and the one before that all ended in the trash.
Now, we are not against you eating healthy foods whenever you catch a bout of healthy living as you usually do at the beginning of the year. In fact, we love it and pray that you will stay on the plan. But we also know that the list of healthy foods that Dr. Oz gives on his show only work for people who actually eat the food.
9. How about showing some affection in public?
Every man becomes a king when his lady hooks her hand into his elbow as they walk or stand in public. But much as we would like you to do that, it is kind of a difficult thing for us to ask. It is okay, for a woman to ask to be held but, somehow, it sounds sissy when a man does it.
So, now, that you know, remember to slip your hand into ours as we walk into the mall, give us a kiss, even. It is just royalty, that feeling. Priceless.
10. Can we record ourselves having sex?
Okay, we all know that it is very easy for anyone to find our sex video and post it on Youtube or Facebook for the whole world to see. But the truth remains that watching a sex film of ourselves really turns us on. We do not know why but it really does. But, just like you, we are uncomfortable about the fear of losing the tape and having it end up on Youtube.