9 CAUSES OF LATE MARRIAGE AND THEIR PROBABLE SOLUTIONS…
It is very common these days to find people between ages 35 to 40 or more, introducing themselves as bachelors and spinsters. Personally I don’t think it is advisable to deliberately remain single at such advanced ages in a world we don’t live forever. You definitely need to marry at the appropriate time to enable you train your children who are the joy of your future at the appropriate time. Can you imagine celebrating your 50th birthday while your first child is just ten or thereabout? How about embarking on school run at 60 or 70? Would you find it interesting? Not at all. To avoid all these, attempts shall be made here to ex-ray the causes of late marriage and their probable solutions as follows:
1. SELECTION HABIT: Some people have this extreme habit of not being able to make up their mind for a particular marital partner due to one perceived atom of imperfection or the other associated with the various individuals that have come their way. Careful choice of a partner is good but when it is overdone it can lead to late marriage. To avoid this, you must bear in mind that nobody is 100% perfect. So when you are able to discover some reasonable percentage of the qualities you require from your Mr or Miss Right you can carry on with your marriage immediately.
2. WAITING TO SOLVE ALL FAMILY PROBLEMS: Some people wait to solve all family problems before venturing into marriage. They would want to shoulder every problem of both their nuclear and extended family with their income in respect of education, feeding, and the likes. Indeed it it good to solve family problems but family problems never end. They can never be completely solved. This why you must squeeze out time and resources to marry and settle down.
3. WAITING TO HAVE EVERYTHING: This is mostly associated with some men. Some of them will tell you ‘’if I don’t have this or that in my apartment or bank account I wouldn’t think of marriage’’. Or they would want to have master’s or phD before marriage. The fact is that you will never have all that you need in life before marriage. You must start with what you have and thereafter build on it with your partner as household.
4. INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES: The importance of financial resources in marriage plan cannot be overemphasized. As a man you need money to sponsor your wedding as well as to run the home. But no matter how lean your resources are you must marry because society does not receive poverty as an excuse for singleness. So if everything you have cannot give you a wife, at a time when age is no longer on your side, you have to seek the assistance of the family members, friends and well-wishers. I know of a guy who wanted to marry but had no sufficient funds. What he did was to draw the list of the items needed for the program and shifted the responsibilities to his various friends and family members with a passionate appeal for assistance. Another good way to achieve this is to marry a working class lady that has a good job. But if you can’t find one, ensure that you marry any other person you are attracted to by faith.
5. INABILITY TO FIND A RIGHT MATE: Many who are supposed to marry at appropriate time have always complained of inability to find a right mate. This could be however frustrating but better strategies must be however implored to get your mister or miss right. The fact is that there is a right person out there if you know what qualities you need in a partner. Another mistake is that some people go about seeking someone that has 100% of the qualities they need in a mate. This is hardly achievable. So when you discover some reasonable percentage of the needed qualities, go ahead to marry the person.
6. FLAMBOYANT DISPLAY OF WEALTH ON THE PART OF THE LADIES: There are some single ladies that are stinking rich. They have fleet of cars, have their own mansions or live in a rented duplex all alone. In short when it comes to money they have no problem but no man is forth coming. They display their wealth openly in one way or the other. But the funniest thing is that most responsible men whose financial class is lower often shy away from approaching such ladies for marriage except gold diggers. Reason number one is the fear of being turned down by them. Two, the fear of not being able to confront them or earn their respect because their financial class is lower than the ladies. The solution is simple. Ladies who have found themselves in these circumstances must device a means of leaving an average life to avoid being tied down in singleness. In other words, they should condescend or cut down their size and pride to avoid the consequence of living too big. What I mean is that even if such a lady has money to rent a flat or duplex she has to make do of a room and parlor or at most self-contained to avoid the consequence.
7. CHARACTER AND APPEARANCE: By character it means the special qualities or behavior that makes you different from others. Whether good or bad your character is the real you. So, bad character can make it difficult for a girl to get married. This is why you must change for the better if you notice that most people complain about your interpersonal relationship or your behavior in general. The issue of appearance is also worth emphasizing. A girl that is not neat in appearance, does not dress well may find it difficult to attract a man for marriage. As you must bear in mind that dirt repels people, you must learn to dress neatly and decently all the time.
8. PROCRASTINATION OCCASIONED BY ONE EXCUSE OR THE OTHER: Some people find it difficult to marry at the appropriate time as a result of unnecessary procrastination. They would tell you, they wouldn’t want to marry at the moment because they are busy with one thing or the other. For instance, an approached lady may tell you that she is not ready because she is still an undergraduate whereas her smart mate are busy getting married in 100, 200, or 300 levels as the case may be. The advice here is that time waits for no man, some opportunities come but once. Some delays are dangerous. This is why you must not take chances if a man is ready for you.
9. SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS: Whether we like to hear it or not, some people can find it difficult to marry at the appropriate time due to spiritual problems. After all, we have heard some people confess witchcraft as being responsible for such problems. But the fact is that spiritual problems require spiritual solutions. To this end prayers must be resorted to. Men of God or some powerful Christians must be consulted to break such yokes